see the people sitting over there

i want to kiss and touch them everywhere

things that once (and for a long time) seemed difficult come extraordinarily easily now. i've had an enormous amount of time to think about what i want in my life, currently, and what i could deal with keeping in the future. i wouldn't call what i did "making decisions", but rather letting things happen as they should. i've disposed of much, and of many, and because it makes the most sense in the world, i'm not sad. it's a new city, a different atmosphere in my life all around, and i need to be free of negativity, of judgmental minds, of people i cannot count on for anything. as it turns out, you don't need anyone's approval to get closure. you don't need "a big talk", you don't need to argue, and you certainly don't need their permission. too seldom have i taken advantage of my basic right, as a human being, to not call asshole "friend", or anything of the sort.

i'd rather spend my time marveling, and satisfying my every curiosity. this thing, this...this...insanity that is another human being that fits so perfectly, in my mind, in my heart, in and around my body...who smells like flora right out of God's backyard...who knows what to do and say even following my silence...whose shameless vulnerability makes him a superhero...whose confidence in me makes me doubt myself less and less...whose warm breath on my back i cannot sleep without...whose genuine interest in everything rivals and may exceed my own .........................who comes skipping down to my fortress and with a flick of his fingers, shatters every brick. and i emerge like a sleepy drunkard, and we leave skipping off like the past many years have taught us nothing. but they taught us everything. everything we needed to know up to now, AND THANK YOU, i suppose, all you assholes. i let him pass me by years ago, because i hadn't suffered enough, and it wasn't our time. i had a bit of time to gussy up my soul enough, to be good enough, and now i am.

lovely lovely lovely.
love love love .
you. you. you.